Who has writer's block? Raise your hand.

To some extent, all creative processes are a grand mystery. How do they begin? How do they progress? When or where do they end? These questions will terrify anyone who faces the blank page with a certain mindset. But you know what? I’m not here to psychoanalyze. I have practical suggestions from my store of writing experiences. If they help you, I’m happy.

ELEMENTARY QUESTIONS:

Ask yourself and answer honestly: why do you want to write? What do you want to say? If you have excellent answers, proceed:

ONE: DO MORE MINDLESS TASKS

Could it be so easy? Yes! Some of my best ideas came to me after drinking a jumbo skippy jar full of coffee, and then cleaning out the refrigerator. Three days’ worth of dishes in the sink will work too. Cleaning the toilet? Meh.

TWO: READ!

Steven King, that towering foul-humored giant of genre fiction, has said that you won’t be able to write worth a damn if you don’t read. He isn’t wrong. If reading doesn’t inspire you to write, then maybe you need to switch to another medium. I’m not joking, and this is actually a deep thought. You want to express some feeling or idea. How do you know which medium will do it best? That is for you to decide and develop.

THREE: DO SOMETHING YOU’VE NEVER DONE BEFORE

If you’re not sure what to write about, go get into trouble. Dare to do something that scares you. You don’t have to write about it. Your aim is to hold your brain upside down by the ankles and shake out its pockets. The loot is there.

FOUR: IMPROVE YOUR PRE-PRODUCTION METHODS.

Could what you do before you write matter? Of course. If your methods are askew, you will hit roadblocks. May I introduce you to the concept of a notebook, pen, and a jillion questions about what you want to write about? Interview yourself, interview your characters. Let them be heard, and the rest will follow. Or, you could start with the characters. Make notes on the train. That lady with the scar on her cheek. How did it get there? That man whose suit is so baggy he looks like a bag of bones. What happened to him? That couple in conversation, who are electrifying the whole train car (and many body parts) because they’re so in love. Make notes, man!

FIVE: COFFEE

Never underestimate the godlike power of the Bean to make words appear on that page. As for alcohol, Er… that’s a false friend. You will wind up with a lot of rubbish to edit out later. HOWEVER. strong coffee followed by two mojitos could win you a Pulitzer or some other freaking accolade. But please, don’t think of those while you write. They will give you a case of writers’ block that none of these helpful tips can remedy. Okay?

Write well!